devotion and sacrifice.......

dont live for others all the time.......

have u ever felt frustrated about what hav u become??? hav u ever felt in ur futile attempts to please ur loved ones u hav somewher forgotten urself??? from pleasing mom n dad n siblings n friends n girlfiend or boyfrend u try to b somebody tat they want to see in u n ultimately u struggle to find the original u, the u tat u like, the u tat u xpect from urself to b, the u tat wud attract u forever to b wid urself...

i know the question tat mite arise is "will it not b selfish" the answer is no... never... its never selfish to demand space, to demand aims, to demand liking, to demand living.changing ur goals,compromising with ur talents n interests just becoz ur loved one wants u to b somebody else is just like asking a flower not to give out fragrance.. when the creator has implanted tat interest n talent in u who has d rite to ask u not to bring it out!n in asking u to do so who is selfish... u or d one expecting such sacrifice???

the thing one shud take care of while fulfilling his or her wishes is d righteousness of their wish... n trust me rights n wrongs r not subjective!they r clearly distinguished!there is only one right way n as many wrong ways ther r, they wil always b wrong!n remember somewher while trying to live for others n proving ur selflessness u r ultimately trying to prove to urself!

evolve the way u want to see urself... n u will never b bad... n when u will not b bad u wil b gud n when u wil b gud u wil b loved by all!!! please urself n live! one day u will dream big n achieve it n then all ur loved ones will b proud of u!!!

transitions.......

my schooling ended n i was struggling to get into a good college... struggling cuz i wasnt in d list of toppers who had finished schooling with xcellent grades..infact i was one of those who were thankful that school days are over!!! offcourse i had had lotttts of fun at school but what i didnt like was the vicious circle of evaluating a person thru the very very difficult concept (according to me!dont know about others) exams!!! in fact for me exams were more like being tooooo judgemental about a student(lol)!!!

anyways i was out of school and about to enter another world (college) that i had only heard of and never experienced...i was excited!!! excited more coz i knew now i was freeeeee from d "school's strict deadlines"!!!also cuz for me it sounded koooooooooooool to b in college!!!

but wat i did not know is tat getting into a gud colg wil b such a big deal!!! i had to run from one corner of the country to another!!!what i went thru during this time was one of the worst time of my student life..wat contributed d most in making it worse is my absent mindedness.somewher i forgot to attach d xerox of my marksheet, somewhere i was late, somewhere i didnt remember d date of submission!!!gosh!!!

finally by gods grace d good deeds of my parents somewhere helped me n i got thru fergusson college!!!fergusson...pune:) was a welcome relief from d hellishly hectic years of senior school!!! i was glad tat college was, as i had expected one of d koooooooooolest place!!! wat factors made it koooooooooooooooolest is another story...

nyways today when my graduation is over i realise that one feels really uncomfortable (my worse student life experience as i call it!) when he or she is admist transitional phase of life...these transitions can b in terms of stages of growth both external and internal.cuz then u fight contradictions of the old u n the new u..

n now during my transitional phase from grad (graduation) to post grad i hav slowly learnt and still learning d art of handling the discomfort of transitions from one phase of life to another...

the unwritten years.......

its been almost 4 years that i havnt pen down my thoughts n this blog is like a new begining for me...
today as i sit in my room n type these words n think about all the years that i didnt write i realise i have soooo much to talk about!!! so many things that i could hav added to my writting book- soooo many thoughts, soooooo many observations, so many incidents, so many people... all went unwritten...!!!but thankfully i hav the (-otherwise not so good-) memory power which helps me sustain all that i hav lived during these years.
travelling back and picking up the threads where i had left... gladly i find no knots while connecting to them cuz may b i didnt break the thread while leaving. another reason why its easier for me cuz be it good or bad i cherish them all...